Though a lot can go wrong when it comes to dating, there are some mistakes that appear to be more common than we think
BY SUPRIYA DAVDA | MAR 23, 2009
It?s Saturday night and you?re all set to go on your first date. You haven?t dated in a while and you?re pretty anxious that you?ll screw things up. So how do you prevent from making an absolute dweeb of yourself? With a few friends and conversation in flow on dating blunders, I?ve brought together a list of some clear-cut tips to precluding yourself from making the most common first date blunders.
Blunder 10
?Can you make that a double??
If there is one fundamental dating crime I see women make time and time again, it?s drinking too much alcohol on a date. It starts innocently, a small glass of ?Pinot Grigio?, then a ?Cosmopolitan?, all little harmless, but before you can say ?I?ll have another ?Sex on the Beach??, you?ve found yourself prattling on about old flames. Remain fresh, charming and poised. It?s hard to string a sentence together when you?ve had one to many to drink. So stick to one or two at the most and try not to head straight to a shot of ?Wagabombs?.
Blunder 9
?Etiquette requires us to admire the human race?
There?s nothing like a bit of appreciation. A simple ?Thank you for the dinner? or ?I had a great time? is perfect. Letting your date know that you?ve had a good time and was thankful for the effort made (that?s if he did make any), let?s them know that you did have a good time. Nevertheless there?s no harm in being polite.
Blunder 8
?I don't carry any early childhood trauma around with me, if that's what you're hinting at?
No one really wants to hear you analysing your childhood over a paneer and lassi, it?s personal and for a reason. So keep it personal, at least for the first few dates. Let things unravel itself slowly. It?s agreed there is a time and place to unravel that your mummy beat you with a rolling pin, but the first date is just not the time. My advice; keep your conversation flowing, charming, real and honest.
Blunder 7
?You know he still lives with his mum?
Do not get into the ?nitty gritty? details of your last relationship or how it scared you for life. Ranting and raving on about a lost love or how a partner who done you wrong is not appealing or attractive. You?re already a broken record to your friends, barley coping after a break up and ?God Bless? them for being there for you. But an excessive baggage like that can make anyone run a mile from you.
Blunder 6
?A man on a date wonders if he?ll get lucky. The woman already knows?
You want to leave your date wanting a bit more, and you definitely want him to call you again. So let yourself be a mystery, let him work out what you?re all about. Too fast too soon usually means a downhill progression. Let a relationship take its due course. Be patient.
Blunder 5
?Moments like this have been ruining friendships for centuries?
A guy, who asks you round to watch a movie or a bit of tele on a Saturday evening, is NOT a definition of a date. Hanging out is what?s done after one has surpassed the dating stage. If a man however starts off by wanting to ?hang out?, I?d dash off right back home. You are not his friend.
Blunder 4
?It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her?
Men love to do the asking ? and that?s how it should be. Be a traditionist and let him do the honours and ask you out. Remember, men like to chase and pursue. Yes indeed it all sounds overtly old-fashioned but forget the feminist movements and the burning of the bras. If you yet to figure it out, men like to be the hunter, particularly when it comes to asking out women. Let the men do the asking, if he?s interested he?ll ask. You my friend just sit back and relax.
Blunder 3
?Only great minds can afford a simple style?
It?s always a nightmare on deciding what to wear just to meet up with friends and now you?ve got to dress to impress your date! You want to be super modish as Victoria Beckham and not look as though you borrowed clothes from Rakhi Sawant?s wardrobe. Keep it classy, chic and simple.
Blunder 2
"I want a man who is kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?"
There is a delicate etiquette surrounding going Dutch. It may be accepted in some situations, such as between non-intimate friends or less affluent people, but it is considered stingy in other circumstances, such as on a romantic date. It?s polite to say ?Let?s split the bill?. If a guy wants to go Dutch he needs to go out to dinner with a buddy. We know that men like to be the providers. In my opinion even after several months of dating a real man wouldn?t want you to pay. However if for some reason your date does not offer to pay or suggests going Dutch, consider it a red flag and a warning. It?ll never end; firstly it?ll start out with dinner, and then some money to buy a new pair of shoes and then his darned mobile phone bill. Men with oozing confidence, pride and a bright future ahead of them pay on dates, and you have every right to expect them to do so.
Blunder 1
?Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant?
Though love is the foundation of a relationship, there is a lot more than just this one emotion. ?All you require is love? and all sounds extremely sweet, but girls snap out of it, it isn?t the key to a long-term relationship. And don?t keep going on about it on your first date either, you?ll scare the bloke away. You both have other needs and they all need to be met for things to work. And love is only one of these needs.
