Research shows that running 75 miles or having sex three times a week for a year burns the same amount of calories. Now that's got your attention
BY ARFEEN KHAN | MAR 23, 2009
Who said something that feels good can?t possibly be good for us? Motivational speaker and life coach Arfeen Khan indulges in all about sex when it comes to us women and men.
Why?s sex a goodie and it?s health benefits
Sex in a loving, intimate relationship has numerous health benefits. In women, the sexual act triggers the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin promotes feelings of affection and triggers that nurturing instinct. In men, sex encourages the flow of testosterone, which strengthens bones and muscles and helps transport DHEA, a hormone important in the function of the body?s immune system. Author Paul Pearsall; maintains that sex in a loving relationship helps the immune system by increasing the flow of certain chemicals in the body. An active sex life may help us live longer too. Dr. David Weeks, a clinical neuro-psychologist at Scotland?s Royal Edinburgh Hospital, conducted a study of 3,500 people ranging in age from 18 to 102. He concluded that sex actually slows down the process of aging. So, now you know the secret of looking 40 when you are 60.
Feeling secure in a relationship leads to feeling happier, which could lead to greater health, and a younger look. Intimacy plays a key role in the health benefits of sex. An immoral sexual relationship may actually produce an opposite effect by introducing a sense of anxiety and fear. So, straying away from your partner and playing crafty little tricks may actually land you up with a failing health. So, everything about sex points to gain; nothing to lose if carried out safely, wisely, provided there are no accidents like rubber leaks.
Who has the greater desire for sex, men or women?
The controversy about which of the two sexes has a higher sexual desire had been whipped up recently. In May 2006, LastMinute.com surveyed 4,000 Brits, and the results show that while men think about sex, 150 minutes in every 24 hours, women on the other hand, spend 180 minutes per day thinking about getting hot and heavy!
Contrary to old stereotypes, men were not so sex hungry after all. "The old stereotype that all men think about is sex seems to have run its course,? said a spokesperson from Lastmintue.com. However, the survey also found that sex takes a back seat at workplaces for both men and women. If this is the case how do people do any work if they think of sex for such long duration.
Neuro psychiatrists Louann Brizendine believe that men think about sex a lot more that we women do. "Women have an eight-lane super motorway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road. Men, however, have an Airport as a hub for processing thought about sex, where women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes. The honest scientific thing to say is, on average, males have visual thoughts and fantasies more times a day. And they're more likely to pursue a partner based on nothing but a sighting. Thus, the first cause of attraction towards a woman, for a man, is her visual appeal.?
Scientists often focus on something more straightforward - sex drive, which is controlled by the hormone testosterone. Men have 10 to 50 times as much testosterone as women. ?But the relationship to sex drive isn't that linear,? states Brizendine. ?It takes much less testosterone to trigger a woman?s circuits.?
Why odd couples exist and how male and female sex drives differ
Ever noticed there are several ?odd? relationships in the world if you are not absolutely blind to what is happening around you? Did you smile when you saw examples like Demi Moore and her 15 years younger toy boy lover Ashton Kutcher? Was Saif Ali Khan and his former Amrita Singh a topic of your dinner-table discussion? Though the movie Pretty Woman, depicting the romantic affair and courtship of a very young Julia Roberts and a much older Richard Gere was a runaway success at the box office, such an affair in real life raise eyebrows. Why do these ?odd? relationships occur? To understand this one has to understand the difference between male and female sex drives.
By revelations of science the male sex drive ignites early like fireworks. Whoosh...it shoots up during the late teen years, to reach its peak at around 21. After 21, the sex drive of boys starts a slow downhill movement. Compared to boys, the sex-drive of girls starts off like damp fireworks. It grows slow and steady. Girls reach their peak at around 36. The high sex drive of post 35 women match the sex drive of younger men of around 19/ 20, how that for peak.
Why men stare at women and why their partners catch them
Yes they do, whether they admit it or not, men stare at women. A recent research has revealed that an average man spends six months of his life staring at the opposite sex! He takes a sneak peek an average of eight times a day for up to two minutes each time. And girls? They also check out men but are much more subtle, staring around twice a day for just 90 seconds. Most of which take place ogling at parties, gatherings and beaches.
According to a survey by BuySpecs4Less.co.uk, while men's obsession with women's busts makes their eyes inadvertently turn towards female busts before roving to their behind and legs; women are more drawn towards a man's eyes. While most women in the survey said they enjoyed male attention, about 33% said they didn?t really enjoy being gazed at. On the other hand only 9% of men did not like catching a woman looking at them, which means 91% men enjoyed women staring at them. More than half of the men questioned saw nothing wrong with a bit of looking at girls - but a third say they have been caught in the act, and got into trouble with their partners.
Shape and good looks remain a top priority, if not the number one priority of men who are seeking women, while for women the top priority would be a good personality in a man.
Why men often fail to satisfy their partners in bed
Yes they do, whether you like it or not. Complaints are mounting that men with apparently no physical or mental ailments fail to satisfy their partner in bed. It is not uncommon to find couples grumbling about their sex lives and visiting doctors. But why? The answer lies in a basic physical difference between men and women. Often you could draw comparison of men to gunpowder while women to candles when it comes to attaining orgasm.
QueenDom.com conducted a survey on 15,000 sexually active adults to find some hard data on the differences between male and female experiences of orgasm. It had clearly revealed a fundamental difference between men and women and their experiences with orgasm. First of all, women are much less likely to experience orgasm. While 89% of men claim that they will achieve orgasm most of the times, only 42% of women, that?s by half compare to the men, state that they will ?get there? most of the time. What happens to the rest? Of course they go unsatisfied. In fact a whooping 26% of females experience orgasm rarely or never at all during sex, whereas only 2.5% of men have problems reaching climax. So, women are 10 times more likely to have problems with orgasm during sexual intercourse. In fact the same survey also gives the answer to this striking difference. Men on an average achieve orgasm within the first 3 minutes, while women achieve the same in about 12 minutes. The moment men achieve another orgasm immediately, or continue with the act of lovemaking.
What excites him; what stimulates you
Energy drink. But jokes apart, continuing with the differences, men and women are sexually turned on by different stimulants. The list of the top three priorities of sexual stimulants for men and women are entirely different. If his eyes pop out at the sight of scantily clad porn-stars, her heat is turned on by romantic words. Survey shows that men are sexually turned on by pornographic materials, sight of nude females and good, sexy lingerie. In contrast, women are sexually turned on by romantic words, signs of dedication, and intimacy. This mean, women are hardly ever turned on sexually by strangers, even though they may be handsome hunks, supposedly. Neither does a bare male body turn them on to that extent, as bare female bodies turn on men. In fact women are more turned on by the sight of a couple being intimate, rather than a man standing without anything clad.
Ever noticed, men want sex with the lights turned on, while women prefer lights turned off or lowered? Do you think their sense of saving the electricity bill become very active at this time? Nah. For the same reason women often close their eyes during sex, as opposed to men, who keep their eyes wide-open.
Why men become dumb during sex
Isn?t it a paradox; that women expect men to chant romantic things during sex, but that hardly ever happens? He is hopelessly disappointing to her expectations and seems to become a dumbstruck creature while lovemaking. Speech in men is limited to the left half of their brains, while during sex; it is the right half that becomes busy. Multitasking is difficult for men, so we need to remind ourselves? So, when a man has to talk during sex, it is a difficult task for him to switch over from the right half of the brain to the left half, so science says. When he does so, he loses his concentration from the act of lovemaking, since he is governed by the right half of his brain. Moreover, for men, sex is a form of relaxation and he shuts down his other senses during the act. Trying to talk at this time is like whipping his other senses to work. Lovemaking can be made more enjoyable if both the sexes can understand their biological differences. Starting with men needing to realize that their dumbness is disappointing for their partners, and often referred to be known as lousy lovers. Dumb lovers get lower marks than talking lovers, from women.
You can read more of life coach and motivational speaker Arfeen Khan?s work, by logging online on to www.arfeenkhan.com
